Keeping Their Spirit Alive

When Jeff was really sick the guys from the Meadowlands approached me about doing a benefit for him and was hoping he could attend.

I know that feeling, when you feel powerless in a situation like an illness, to make it go away, but you have to do something. So I understood the guys wanting to do a benefit......and their desire to Do Something!

I agreed, but I told them I didn't think he would feel up to coming, but I would show up.

I can personally relate to that deep desire of needing an outlet, a way to recognize someone who means a lot to you.  After my cousin Margo passed away at 35, I was heartbroken and wanted to keep her memory alive somehow; but it never came together.

At Jeff's Celebration of Life, I was surrounded by a circle of so many of Jeff's friends from the Meadowlands and they wanted to still do this benefit, now more than ever.  Such anxious faces looking at me for approval.

I took a deep breath and agreed because it was what I wanted to do for Margo ~ a fundraiser in her name.

The other day, after attending the luncheon in Beth Dillinger's name, I thought about a conversation Jeff and I had near the end.

He wanted to talk about 'what happens if he dies', and I didn't want to hear it, because I was not giving up, I was still expecting a miracle.  But he had my attention.

One statement rang strong, "Go and do Daisy Button."

We talked about my Daisy Button characters when we met early on in our relationship, and I carried them throughout our relationship. He wanted them to live on!