Release the Negative

I believe that trauma can attach to your body and become part of your DNA, and must be released.  I have known so many people who held on to negatives from their life, or kept emotions bottled up and those negatives ended up manifesting physically.

I feel that is what happened with Jeff, when he developed melanoma. He had a lot of issues from his past that he never seemed to let go of, and when he stuffed them, those emotions found their way out in different ways. 

The doctors told me that his case of melanoma wasn't passed down genetically, and he was rarely in the sun.  When he was in the sun he was usually wearing a t-shirt.   

When you are running like a maniac with no time to stop, no time to think of yourself, or make time for yourself, and you are constantly stuffing the stress, it will catch up to you.  

I can remember sitting in the hospital at the end of Jeff's bed, a few days after checking him into Hospice and staring at him laying there, acknowledging that he will never wake up from the medicine they were giving him.......each time they tried, he would start to seize. So now he was resting.

But for me ~ My whole body was on fire.......I sat there realizing that everything I tried to do and all the efforts that we made, had not changed the outcome and NOW there was nothing I could do.

I couldn't sit there any longer, I had to leave!!  My body was screaming for help. I had ignored myself for too long.

My body needed relief, immediately.  I began running through my mind, where could I go to get a massage, and try to eliminate at least the top layer of pain from my body.  

I left Valley Hospital and drove over to the Fountain Day Spa, walking in to the reception area, almost in tears, and asked if they had someone.....anyone who could give me a massage.

Luckily, one of their massage therapists just had a cancellation and she could take me right then.

Thank you God!

On her massage table I broke down in tears........I had been holding in so much....for so long.

When I left, my body wasn't on fire any longer.......but I was still in pain.  I bought a hot healing neck pillow to put in the microwave and wrap around the area that seemed to hold on to stress like a vice.

Over the next six months I made a conscious effort to get a few massages and release the pain, stress, anger and sadness from my body.  I could not allow my body to break down, my son needed me.

The other day I went for a 90 minute hot stone massage to have the hot rocks penetrate deep into my tissue. I asked the masseuse to massage my scalp and release all that I have been holding in my head.  

Those massages have helped me clear my mind, provide me with the self-care I need, to do all that I have to for my son and for our future.

Are you taking care of yourself, and releasing the negatives from life, so that they don't manifest physically?