I am a Big football fan and my nickname for Jeff was "Sport Boy."
So when we had Zack ~ football was in his blood. Plus, he was brainwashed at an early age when Jeff hung a University of Miami mobile over his crib, and a signed Limited Edition Framed Lithograph of Dan Marino over his changing table.
I also watched football games every Sunday with the NFL Sunday Ticket, while Zack ran around with a small football, in the living room pretending he was one of the players on tv.
But when Zack was able to play tackle football in 1st grade I was hesitant. Growing up, Pop Warner tackle football in my town didn't start until 4th grade, and I had that age in my mind. 1st grade seemed too young to me.
I would have preferred to have waited a couple of years to have Zack play organized football, but Jeff wanted to present the option to Zack and see what he wanted. He was gung ho from the beginning, even after we thoroughly explained the time commitment.
As practice began Zack was so excited to be out there practicing and playing with the other boys, and he had such an aptitude for the game that they made him backup quarterback in 1st grade.
Looking back, even though that was a very tough time for me, juggling Zack's practices, games and Jeff's sickness ~ the time that they were able to spend, sharing that football connection was priceless.
Jeff made it to every practice and every game, and was so proud to see Zack play.
For the last 2 years Zack and I took a break from football. Playing in 2nd grade, months after Jeff passed away was too hard, and last year before 3rd grade started, we moved down to Tampa.
Zack has been hounding me to play this year and I felt it was time.
As I sit out at a 2.5 hour practice, watching him work on conditioning, running, throwing and handing off, tears fill my eyes.
Zack is in his Glory! After the first practice, his coaches saw the same qualities in him as his previous coach and started him at quarterback. This time he will be the starter!!
He is ecstatic, and Jeff is probably grinning from ear to ear as he watches from above.
Meanwhile, I feel the void of doing this alone and juggling this huge commitment. It wasn't supposed to be this way.
WELCOME! I'm Tracey Serebin and I'm SO glad you are here! Having been through the many stages of grief, healing and hope, my prayer is that I can help you use your unique story to access your wisdom, maximize your talents and become the change maker your family and our society needs! Let's be better together!
Friday, August 5, 2016
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Messages On Vacation (Part 1)
I have always had interesting things happen to me when I step away from the daily grind, and get out of town. This latest vacation was no different.
The time away provided an opportunity to open myself up to messages and allow a different perspective on life to seep through.
Zack and I went up north, back to visit family and friends. And it felt like we stepped back into our old lives, after being away for a year.
It felt a little surreal as we landed in Newark, rented a car and drove over to a friends house to stay overnight. The next day we drove from New Jersey to Connecticut and it ignited flashbacks to when I first met Jeff and I was driving back and forth to NJ, as I stayed at my Aunt and Uncle's house over the summer.
Arriving at their house, to stay over the 4th of July weekend was like coming home. I had spent so much time with them, at their house, over the years, even during my childhood.
The flashbacks came again, of all the summer weekends Jeff and I had shared around their pool, with family, grilling sausage and spending time.
My Aunt, Uncle, and I were reminiscing about Jeff, and how he had this joke with my Uncle Larry that he would say each time we sat down to eat lunch by the pool.
On Sunday, the day before the 4th, my two cousins arrived with their kids and significant others, to spend the day.
As we get ready for dinner, Gina and I are setting the table outside on the porch, overlooking the pool. She hands me the place settings and I go around the table putting each one at a chair.
I counted the people......and counted the place settings....twice, and it seemed like it was off. So I counted it again.
I counted 9 place settings and there were 10 people. So I asked Gina to bring me out one more.
"Ok," she responds, and goes back inside to grab another complete set.
I count again to make sure I was right, and then I put down the 10th place setting.
We then get busy, gathering everyone to the table, herding the kids out of the pool, getting them situated, loading the table with food, and handing out the drinks.
We all grab a chair, sit down, and begin getting the kids plates ready as Uncle Larry lays down the big platter of sausage and chicken in the middle of the table.
Just as he sits down, my cousin Cindy says, "who is sitting here?"
We all look over at the empty chair between her and Gina's husband.
It was set for one more guest, #11 ~ right across from Uncle Larry.
Everyone looked at each other, and I felt him immediately as I stared at the empty chair.
"I guess Jeff wanted us to know that he was here with us." I softly announced.
The time away provided an opportunity to open myself up to messages and allow a different perspective on life to seep through.
Zack and I went up north, back to visit family and friends. And it felt like we stepped back into our old lives, after being away for a year.
It felt a little surreal as we landed in Newark, rented a car and drove over to a friends house to stay overnight. The next day we drove from New Jersey to Connecticut and it ignited flashbacks to when I first met Jeff and I was driving back and forth to NJ, as I stayed at my Aunt and Uncle's house over the summer.
Arriving at their house, to stay over the 4th of July weekend was like coming home. I had spent so much time with them, at their house, over the years, even during my childhood.
The flashbacks came again, of all the summer weekends Jeff and I had shared around their pool, with family, grilling sausage and spending time.
My Aunt, Uncle, and I were reminiscing about Jeff, and how he had this joke with my Uncle Larry that he would say each time we sat down to eat lunch by the pool.
On Sunday, the day before the 4th, my two cousins arrived with their kids and significant others, to spend the day.
As we get ready for dinner, Gina and I are setting the table outside on the porch, overlooking the pool. She hands me the place settings and I go around the table putting each one at a chair.
I counted the people......and counted the place settings....twice, and it seemed like it was off. So I counted it again.
I counted 9 place settings and there were 10 people. So I asked Gina to bring me out one more.
"Ok," she responds, and goes back inside to grab another complete set.
I count again to make sure I was right, and then I put down the 10th place setting.
We then get busy, gathering everyone to the table, herding the kids out of the pool, getting them situated, loading the table with food, and handing out the drinks.
We all grab a chair, sit down, and begin getting the kids plates ready as Uncle Larry lays down the big platter of sausage and chicken in the middle of the table.
Just as he sits down, my cousin Cindy says, "who is sitting here?"
We all look over at the empty chair between her and Gina's husband.
It was set for one more guest, #11 ~ right across from Uncle Larry.
Everyone looked at each other, and I felt him immediately as I stared at the empty chair.
"I guess Jeff wanted us to know that he was here with us." I softly announced.
Monday, June 20, 2016
Spreading Hope and Love ~ Not Violence and Fear
This past week it seemed like the world had gone crazy. I tried to block as much of the negative as I could and not get become paralyzed by all the stories. There is a tendency, like a bad accident, to want to stare at the disaster because you almost can't believe that it happened.
That is what happened to me when 9/11 hit. I didn't leave the house, shock paralyzed me. After reaching out to loved ones to make sure everyone was ok. I spent the whole day sitting on the couch, with a pit in my stomach, staring at the television, watching the events play out on the screeen.
Now, what I do watch is the outcry that comes from a tragedy. People are in shock, overcome with sadness, and aghast at the horror and they feel an overwhelming need to do something. And that is the Wake-Up Call, a deep desire swells up inside of us and we feel a need to Do Something!
In the case of Orlando, an outpouring of people stood in line to give blood, and immediately people started donating money to a GoFundMe account that was set up. As of Friday, I saw in the paper that the account was up to $5 million dollars.
Just as in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing, an overwhelming amount of money was raised through OneFundBoston. I think the total was close to $80 million dollars.
While money is important and will help the victims and their families move forward from the tragedy, money is not the answer. It is the easiest thing to do ~ send in a donation and a thank you prayer that it wasn't anyone in my family.
More importantly, something needs to change!
The culture in the U.S. and across the globe needs to change. We have almost become desensitized to all shootings and the violence that plays out on our streets on a daily basis.
Since the shooting at an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut, the gun violence has only escalated. That event should have caused major legislature to change to make parents feel safer by taking guns away. Instead kids in the north are now doing lock down drills at school and fear is prevalent.
Whatever was done by our government to make a change was meaningless. More people have guns now than they ever did, based on their own fear, and many of those people haven't been trained properly on keeping those guns safe and secure in their house, causing numerous accidents leading to fatalities because of it.
I feel as if the movie Tomorrowland is playing out before our eyes. Negativity and Evil seem to broadcast far and wide and the signal is only getting stronger.
While I truly appreciated that outpouring of people this week, to oust the Judge who only gave that college student a light sentence, for the attack he committed on a female college student. What I saw instead was a loud demonstration of negativity again.
How can we as a culture Broadcast Hope, Love and Compassion instead of negativity?
Instead of fighting against ourselves over politics, guns, religion and the differences in people ~
How can we channel Hope instead?
I would love to put together a way to Raise the Consciousness of Hope and Brotherly Love by the same amounts of millions of dollars of money that was raised after the 6 different U.S. Terrorist attacks in the United States since 2015. Because while people come together during the tragedy and stand unified as a group, after a short time has passed, people fall back into old patterns and life returns to the way it was.
There is no sustainability of those emotions of compassion & coming together as a community.
My friend, Diane, a positive lifestyle expert, and I have been working on a Hope and Happiness Initiative for Corporations to bring tools of emotional and mental wellness to employees. Tools that become sustainable in their daily lives.
But after this past week and watching examples of negativity that seem to plague our country on a daily basis ~ I feel a need to develop a Hope and Love Outreach ~ which when embraced, brings Happiness and Joy.
Creating Positive Energy that can be harnessed and broadcast daily through large groups of people to counteract the negativity and fear that seems to permeate.
I would like to see a positive outcome from these tragedy's, not just have it become another statistic that will be added to our history, the next time this happens again.
That is what happened to me when 9/11 hit. I didn't leave the house, shock paralyzed me. After reaching out to loved ones to make sure everyone was ok. I spent the whole day sitting on the couch, with a pit in my stomach, staring at the television, watching the events play out on the screeen.
Now, what I do watch is the outcry that comes from a tragedy. People are in shock, overcome with sadness, and aghast at the horror and they feel an overwhelming need to do something. And that is the Wake-Up Call, a deep desire swells up inside of us and we feel a need to Do Something!
In the case of Orlando, an outpouring of people stood in line to give blood, and immediately people started donating money to a GoFundMe account that was set up. As of Friday, I saw in the paper that the account was up to $5 million dollars.
Just as in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing, an overwhelming amount of money was raised through OneFundBoston. I think the total was close to $80 million dollars.
While money is important and will help the victims and their families move forward from the tragedy, money is not the answer. It is the easiest thing to do ~ send in a donation and a thank you prayer that it wasn't anyone in my family.
More importantly, something needs to change!
The culture in the U.S. and across the globe needs to change. We have almost become desensitized to all shootings and the violence that plays out on our streets on a daily basis.
Since the shooting at an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut, the gun violence has only escalated. That event should have caused major legislature to change to make parents feel safer by taking guns away. Instead kids in the north are now doing lock down drills at school and fear is prevalent.
Whatever was done by our government to make a change was meaningless. More people have guns now than they ever did, based on their own fear, and many of those people haven't been trained properly on keeping those guns safe and secure in their house, causing numerous accidents leading to fatalities because of it.
I feel as if the movie Tomorrowland is playing out before our eyes. Negativity and Evil seem to broadcast far and wide and the signal is only getting stronger.
While I truly appreciated that outpouring of people this week, to oust the Judge who only gave that college student a light sentence, for the attack he committed on a female college student. What I saw instead was a loud demonstration of negativity again.
How can we as a culture Broadcast Hope, Love and Compassion instead of negativity?
Instead of fighting against ourselves over politics, guns, religion and the differences in people ~
How can we channel Hope instead?
I would love to put together a way to Raise the Consciousness of Hope and Brotherly Love by the same amounts of millions of dollars of money that was raised after the 6 different U.S. Terrorist attacks in the United States since 2015. Because while people come together during the tragedy and stand unified as a group, after a short time has passed, people fall back into old patterns and life returns to the way it was.
There is no sustainability of those emotions of compassion & coming together as a community.
My friend, Diane, a positive lifestyle expert, and I have been working on a Hope and Happiness Initiative for Corporations to bring tools of emotional and mental wellness to employees. Tools that become sustainable in their daily lives.
But after this past week and watching examples of negativity that seem to plague our country on a daily basis ~ I feel a need to develop a Hope and Love Outreach ~ which when embraced, brings Happiness and Joy.
Creating Positive Energy that can be harnessed and broadcast daily through large groups of people to counteract the negativity and fear that seems to permeate.
I would like to see a positive outcome from these tragedy's, not just have it become another statistic that will be added to our history, the next time this happens again.
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Happy Father's Day
On this special day for Father's I want to give a shout out to all the dads out there that are Family Focused, engaged, interested and supportive of their kids.
Having a strong Father in the home providing guidance and direction, love and encouragement becomes a role model for young boys. It also creates inner strength in girls, knowing her dad will always have her back.
On this Father's Day, I hope all dad's will enjoy a glorious day basing in their family's love. And may all dad's fall asleep at the end of the day knowing how important a role they play!
Having a strong Father in the home providing guidance and direction, love and encouragement becomes a role model for young boys. It also creates inner strength in girls, knowing her dad will always have her back.
On this Father's Day, I hope all dad's will enjoy a glorious day basing in their family's love. And may all dad's fall asleep at the end of the day knowing how important a role they play!
Friday, June 10, 2016
God's Timing
When you really stop and listen, God's directions come.
They kept me going in the darkness......and when I felt like I was drowning.
I kept pulling myself out of bed each morning, putting one foot in front of the other, taking deep breaths and living life one day at a time.
He showed me a future ~ way out in the distance.......that I had to make my way towards.
So many things to do and take care of along the way. I kept prodding forward. Closing down one chapter of my life and opening another.
Helping my son make the transition from all he knows and the dad he misses, to a new town, in a new state, with no friends. That was a process.
The transition was bumpy ~ but I landed.....and ran right at getting us settled ~ creating a new home, and working on building a future.
I felt the clock ticking!
With each step, each meeting, each piece I created......I was running a race against time.
But when is God's time?
I have been going non-stop for over 3 1/2 years.....when is there rest for the weary? When does the path open up and the burdens are lessened?
When does all the hard work, dedication and hardship get answered?
The vision in my head, the dream in my heart ~ all placed there by God ~ what he doesn't share with me is timing.
Hope can start to falter, Faith can grow dim, and Confidence begins to waver. Wondering whether the vision will ever become reality?
God places people along our path who are interested and excited and they ignite our passion and our fire ~ and keep us going.
Step by step, day by day until Finally He opens the door and allows me to walk through!
They kept me going in the darkness......and when I felt like I was drowning.
I kept pulling myself out of bed each morning, putting one foot in front of the other, taking deep breaths and living life one day at a time.
He showed me a future ~ way out in the distance.......that I had to make my way towards.
So many things to do and take care of along the way. I kept prodding forward. Closing down one chapter of my life and opening another.
Helping my son make the transition from all he knows and the dad he misses, to a new town, in a new state, with no friends. That was a process.
The transition was bumpy ~ but I landed.....and ran right at getting us settled ~ creating a new home, and working on building a future.
I felt the clock ticking!
With each step, each meeting, each piece I created......I was running a race against time.
But when is God's time?
I have been going non-stop for over 3 1/2 years.....when is there rest for the weary? When does the path open up and the burdens are lessened?
When does all the hard work, dedication and hardship get answered?
The vision in my head, the dream in my heart ~ all placed there by God ~ what he doesn't share with me is timing.
Hope can start to falter, Faith can grow dim, and Confidence begins to waver. Wondering whether the vision will ever become reality?
God places people along our path who are interested and excited and they ignite our passion and our fire ~ and keep us going.
Step by step, day by day until Finally He opens the door and allows me to walk through!
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
Gone But Not Forgotten
I knew today would be difficult for me, as it is my wedding Anniversary. So to get through it ~ a few weeks ago I booked a massage and a facial, and planned on easing through the day.
Then I get up this morning, check my e-mail messages and click over to Facebook as I have notifications there, and this pops up in my Facebook memories:
A post from Jeff to me from 4 years ago ~ the year before he got sick saying ~
"Happy 9th year of marriage in this lifetime! My love and admiration for you is stronger each day. I love you."
And I am hit with sadness and longing to hear him say those words to me ~ to wrap me up into his arms in a big warm embrace, allowing me to feel as if everything is right in the world ~ for just those fleeting minutes.
But I won't, ever again ~ see his smile or hear his laugh.
Although this past weekend I could just hear him talking to me, after Zack and I visited his grandparents in St. Augustine.
There was definitely a void without him, during that visit, but his spirit was present.
Maybe Jeff did send me that Facebook Memory to my phone today to let me know that while I will be thinking of him on our Anniversary, he's thinking about me too.
Then I get up this morning, check my e-mail messages and click over to Facebook as I have notifications there, and this pops up in my Facebook memories:
A post from Jeff to me from 4 years ago ~ the year before he got sick saying ~
"Happy 9th year of marriage in this lifetime! My love and admiration for you is stronger each day. I love you."
And I am hit with sadness and longing to hear him say those words to me ~ to wrap me up into his arms in a big warm embrace, allowing me to feel as if everything is right in the world ~ for just those fleeting minutes.
But I won't, ever again ~ see his smile or hear his laugh.
Although this past weekend I could just hear him talking to me, after Zack and I visited his grandparents in St. Augustine.
There was definitely a void without him, during that visit, but his spirit was present.
Maybe Jeff did send me that Facebook Memory to my phone today to let me know that while I will be thinking of him on our Anniversary, he's thinking about me too.
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Being a Catalyst
Over the years I have tried to stand up for the people I cared about. I have tried to do the right thing and my word means everything. I think about what is important in life and that is to try and be a catalyst for others. Someone that makes a lasting impression on the people in their lives.
You can be a catalyst within your family by being a positive role model.
In the life of my son, every day I am shaping, guiding, directing and providing the support and love that he needs.
With Jeff, I feel like I was a catalyst in his life; providing unconditional love, consistency, my spiritual faith that he admired, my close knit family values and my inner strength that he relied on.
You can also be a catalyst for your friends ~ sharing your values, your strength, your faith and your love.
How you help, how you show up and give of yourself. How you listen when someone needs you and how you share your talents to help others.
These are all ways you can make a difference, and be a catalyst to the people in your world.
But what about outside of your immediate family and friends?
Could you be a Change Agent in your community, your town or on a larger scale?
In every corner of our world, people are looking for inspiration, a helping hand, and strong individuals that they can look up to for a sense of assurance that there is good in the world.
It can be very easy to get caught up in the negative, buy into the craziness of the world and believe the fear that the media pushes out!
It takes Faith and Hope to live in the positive and rise above, for the sake of what is good and right.
You can be a catalyst within your family by being a positive role model.
In the life of my son, every day I am shaping, guiding, directing and providing the support and love that he needs.
With Jeff, I feel like I was a catalyst in his life; providing unconditional love, consistency, my spiritual faith that he admired, my close knit family values and my inner strength that he relied on.
You can also be a catalyst for your friends ~ sharing your values, your strength, your faith and your love.
How you help, how you show up and give of yourself. How you listen when someone needs you and how you share your talents to help others.
These are all ways you can make a difference, and be a catalyst to the people in your world.
But what about outside of your immediate family and friends?
Could you be a Change Agent in your community, your town or on a larger scale?
In every corner of our world, people are looking for inspiration, a helping hand, and strong individuals that they can look up to for a sense of assurance that there is good in the world.
It can be very easy to get caught up in the negative, buy into the craziness of the world and believe the fear that the media pushes out!
It takes Faith and Hope to live in the positive and rise above, for the sake of what is good and right.
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